Argh. My brain is stuck in a loop, and the theme song for the day is Toxic by Britney Spears. I cannot get this disgustingly awful piece of pop crap out of my mind!!! If this self-inflicted torture doesn't end soon, I will have to resort to physical means of stopping it--banging my head on my desk or powerdrilling a la Pi.
On a good note, my cold is clearing up and am getting lots of attention from a guy I...could...possibly...have a crush on. At the same time, I will not put much in it--he is, after all, a man, and like a magpie, is easily swayed by the shiny.
2.26.2004
Finally went to the doctor today and got my requisite chewing-out because I was sick. As if I would come to the doctor if I were well. Anywho, got my meds, various bundles of allergy drugs, and an upcoming appointment for "bloodwork." Maybe I've watched too much Buffy and Angel, but this creeps me out. Entails a lot of splitting of parts, examining of counts and such. Oh, sickly sickly me.
2.25.2004
Urgh, my head is about to explode. Damn my sinuses and damn useless decongestant. Well, this leads to my promise for Lent:
I will give up excuses.
Other people give up ice cream (too easy for me), sugar and coffee (way too hard for me), or just outright fast (oye, cranky cranky G). Nope, for me, true good will come once I stop procrastinating or judging and just do what I have to do, no excuses. This will cover many excruciating decisions and actions that I've been putting off, such as:
--going to the gym more often
--going to the doctor when I am sick
--eating properly because it would take more time
--looking up info on the Maryland bar exam
--keeping in touch with my emotionally distant and expensive relatives
--paying more attention to other fun things I could be doing because I'm too anxious about my decrepit love life
So far, so good. At least I've scheduled an appointment to get sinus medication. Hopefully, this will not lead into a downward spiral of drug reliance. (Hmmm, taking Tylenol PM repeatedly to get to sleep is a good thing! Maybe a little Scotch to make me more sleepy! Who needs a liver?)
I will give up excuses.
Other people give up ice cream (too easy for me), sugar and coffee (way too hard for me), or just outright fast (oye, cranky cranky G). Nope, for me, true good will come once I stop procrastinating or judging and just do what I have to do, no excuses. This will cover many excruciating decisions and actions that I've been putting off, such as:
--going to the gym more often
--going to the doctor when I am sick
--eating properly because it would take more time
--looking up info on the Maryland bar exam
--keeping in touch with my emotionally distant and expensive relatives
--paying more attention to other fun things I could be doing because I'm too anxious about my decrepit love life
So far, so good. At least I've scheduled an appointment to get sinus medication. Hopefully, this will not lead into a downward spiral of drug reliance. (Hmmm, taking Tylenol PM repeatedly to get to sleep is a good thing! Maybe a little Scotch to make me more sleepy! Who needs a liver?)
2.24.2004
2.23.2004
A friend of a friend is the coolest non-but-very-potential friend one can have, so I just wanted to introduce the amazingly funny and insightful DJ Ross, a good reason for women to move to LA. :)
2.22.2004
Another reason for castration and a wish to inflict pain equivalent to pain inflicted....this ass has a better chance at finding someone decent than most women in general. Not to mention that he has someone more than decent now and he is still blogging about this girl.
Are men just clueless or are they truly sadistic? I am so tired of being the psychological doormat for guys who are infatuated with women that are not me. Will fight hormones with solitude, as men suck and the ones that don't only want women that think they suck.
Two years worth of solitude doesn't sound so long.
Two years worth of solitude doesn't sound so long.
2.21.2004
Yay! Had fun at party regardless of nasty rough rednecks in 80s gear. Got to hang out with friends, introduce my coastie friend to Munkeigh, got to play lots of pool (miss that pool table), and found peace with the midget. I'm really starting to like my circle of friends, and am amazed that forced socialness works.
Hmmm, so many things to do today and only want to lie in bed, snuggling with a sleepy man. Sigh. But must:
-Buy cat food. Above all, must not starve the babies.
-Buy wedding shower present...what starts with a Z? Ooo, bedsheets!
-Attend wedding shower of coworker with other co-workers....not too enjoyable, but OK, must do the part.
-Attend mardi gras party that may either be wonderfully fun, or lame a la Hero Clix. God, please make them keep the Hero Clix under wraps.
Hmmm, so many things to do today and only want to lie in bed, snuggling with a sleepy man. Sigh. But must:
-Buy cat food. Above all, must not starve the babies.
-Buy wedding shower present...what starts with a Z? Ooo, bedsheets!
-Attend wedding shower of coworker with other co-workers....not too enjoyable, but OK, must do the part.
-Attend mardi gras party that may either be wonderfully fun, or lame a la Hero Clix. God, please make them keep the Hero Clix under wraps.
2.20.2004
Am very tired and need to reprioritize life--will try that sleeping, eating, and exercising thing. Yeah, that. Also need to revisit meaning of life, but that is another blog altogether. :)
Sadly, this revelation is not due to the need to be alert for 8am meeting, but to be alert for dramatic events at llama's party tonight. Am expecting much mischief and sexual tension between midget and his seductive mistress. He he, can't wait.
Sadly, this revelation is not due to the need to be alert for 8am meeting, but to be alert for dramatic events at llama's party tonight. Am expecting much mischief and sexual tension between midget and his seductive mistress. He he, can't wait.
2.19.2004
2.16.2004
Pheromone withdrawal is a bitch.
I've decided that I'm a druggie--I suspend my life and sneak around just for the yummy, sweet scent of certain guys. I actually get a fun little high and lots of distancing from real life issues. And when I leave that safe haven, I'm all cranky and out of sorts, planning for the next buzz. Damn my animal lusting. Argh.
Luckily, I have my ever-good panacea--Weezer (Happy 12th! Yay!!)
I've decided that I'm a druggie--I suspend my life and sneak around just for the yummy, sweet scent of certain guys. I actually get a fun little high and lots of distancing from real life issues. And when I leave that safe haven, I'm all cranky and out of sorts, planning for the next buzz. Damn my animal lusting. Argh.
Luckily, I have my ever-good panacea--Weezer (Happy 12th! Yay!!)
2.14.2004
Happy Valentine's Day!
As cynical as I am, I still love Valentine's Day. The thought of it at least. The merchandising...not so much. Although I am glad to say that I was very surprised and happy to receive roses from...*drum roll*....my brother. He forgets the big holidays, and I haven't received a real present for my birthday or Christmas for a couple years now, but he remembered that my boyfriend of 5 years is no longer, and so it was sweet of him to send me something. Yay for big brothers!
So far, the day is going well:
1) I received a drunk dialing last night from a guy friend at 2:30am and then an apologetic voice message this morning. Sadly, I was flattered and am going to give him chocolate.
2) My friends' social lives are becoming very active, although it seems they get what they want and don't want it any more. Hmm.
3) Have forgiven and forgotten Munkeigh's unintentionally pointed comments (i.e. the man for me that I will never meet and the gloating over my lack of social life). Have accepted sad state. *sigh*
4) My dad came home from his trip to the Philippines with loads of yummy food. Love the yummy pastries.
5) Have plans to go to the gym for some long-needed working out--after I digest the yummy pastries.
6) Guaranteed long weekend promotes further plans of partying hard.
Life is good.
As cynical as I am, I still love Valentine's Day. The thought of it at least. The merchandising...not so much. Although I am glad to say that I was very surprised and happy to receive roses from...*drum roll*....my brother. He forgets the big holidays, and I haven't received a real present for my birthday or Christmas for a couple years now, but he remembered that my boyfriend of 5 years is no longer, and so it was sweet of him to send me something. Yay for big brothers!
So far, the day is going well:
1) I received a drunk dialing last night from a guy friend at 2:30am and then an apologetic voice message this morning. Sadly, I was flattered and am going to give him chocolate.
2) My friends' social lives are becoming very active, although it seems they get what they want and don't want it any more. Hmm.
3) Have forgiven and forgotten Munkeigh's unintentionally pointed comments (i.e. the man for me that I will never meet and the gloating over my lack of social life). Have accepted sad state. *sigh*
4) My dad came home from his trip to the Philippines with loads of yummy food. Love the yummy pastries.
5) Have plans to go to the gym for some long-needed working out--after I digest the yummy pastries.
6) Guaranteed long weekend promotes further plans of partying hard.
Life is good.
2.10.2004
Don't know if it's the spreadsheeting, the subject matter, the boredom, the lack of coffee, or the coffee dependency that is breaking my brain cells down. *pop* *implode* Will no longer think of taking money away from the army, as in general the troops need money, but just the areas of unjustified overspending---hello unnecessary tech spending!! Yes. Will cut the tech spending. *maniacal laughter*
Anywho, primaries are today! I wonder how Virginia will fare, given that unlike many states all registered voters can vote...how many Republicans will come out to skew the vote? I've always wondered if the order of the primaries also has a strong effect on votes....it seems to me that if we started the primaries in South Carolina, instead of Iowa, that maybe Kerry wouldn't be the front-runner.
On another note...Peanut Butter and Jelly, two conjoined African leopard tortoises, have parted ways due to irreconcilable differences and control issues, i.e. their flipping over needed to be monitored for fair walking time. They could not be contacted for comment.
Anywho, primaries are today! I wonder how Virginia will fare, given that unlike many states all registered voters can vote...how many Republicans will come out to skew the vote? I've always wondered if the order of the primaries also has a strong effect on votes....it seems to me that if we started the primaries in South Carolina, instead of Iowa, that maybe Kerry wouldn't be the front-runner.
On another note...Peanut Butter and Jelly, two conjoined African leopard tortoises, have parted ways due to irreconcilable differences and control issues, i.e. their flipping over needed to be monitored for fair walking time. They could not be contacted for comment.
2.08.2004
"Hello, my name is Ringo, and I play the drums..."
Am thoroughly enjoying my night, regardless of the effortless loserness of it all.
I just had bacon for the first time in about a year (my annual craving has broken through the nasty fatty ick barrier), I'm finally getting somewhere with my database that Brain has assigned (oh, but burlap chafes me so), and my ass is warm from the recently purchased space heater.
AND it's nice and happy from the excessive booty shaking that accompanies this year's Grammys. The best Grammys in years, I think. I completely rocked out to the White Stripes (I say it again...damn Jack White and his broken finger!!! I could have experienced that live!!!), Sting/Vince/Pharrell/Dave as the Beatles, Alicia Keys, and Senor Sandoval, so far.
Urgh, mood almost submerged by Yoko Ono insipidness. Will not let the little alien bother me.
Am thoroughly enjoying my night, regardless of the effortless loserness of it all.
I just had bacon for the first time in about a year (my annual craving has broken through the nasty fatty ick barrier), I'm finally getting somewhere with my database that Brain has assigned (oh, but burlap chafes me so), and my ass is warm from the recently purchased space heater.
AND it's nice and happy from the excessive booty shaking that accompanies this year's Grammys. The best Grammys in years, I think. I completely rocked out to the White Stripes (I say it again...damn Jack White and his broken finger!!! I could have experienced that live!!!), Sting/Vince/Pharrell/Dave as the Beatles, Alicia Keys, and Senor Sandoval, so far.
Urgh, mood almost submerged by Yoko Ono insipidness. Will not let the little alien bother me.
2.05.2004
Eh, what can I say? Am very glad that considerate guy is truly considerate:
"I have to be honest with you and tell you there's someone I've seen a couple times, and I don't want to/am not able to juggle girls. I hope at this point you're saying to yourself, "Well, someone has a high opinion of himself...I thought we were just friends." If you're not saying that, and you feel like I mislead you, I'm sorry. I had a great time on Sunday. You're a blast to hang around and I hope we can see each again...just not in "that" way. I really hope I'm just making an ass of myself and we'll laugh about how stupid I was "letting you down" from nothing at all. So, are we cool? I hope so. You're fun to be around and I'd like to keep you as a friend."
Well, I can't complain...he was nice and I didn't fall in love at first sight or anything, I'm not "let down" in any way. I'm glad to be widening my friend circle (especially in my disgusting bar hopping town) and he seems to be one worth keeping.
"I have to be honest with you and tell you there's someone I've seen a couple times, and I don't want to/am not able to juggle girls. I hope at this point you're saying to yourself, "Well, someone has a high opinion of himself...I thought we were just friends." If you're not saying that, and you feel like I mislead you, I'm sorry. I had a great time on Sunday. You're a blast to hang around and I hope we can see each again...just not in "that" way. I really hope I'm just making an ass of myself and we'll laugh about how stupid I was "letting you down" from nothing at all. So, are we cool? I hope so. You're fun to be around and I'd like to keep you as a friend."
Well, I can't complain...he was nice and I didn't fall in love at first sight or anything, I'm not "let down" in any way. I'm glad to be widening my friend circle (especially in my disgusting bar hopping town) and he seems to be one worth keeping.
2.03.2004
Can't help it....
I absolutely love Law & Order!
As all my friends know, and maybe a few people who got in the line of fire, I don't much like lawyers. My law school experience was tiring and painful, as I was trying to bend my mind into the pompous, righteous, inflexible, and yet hypocritical ways of the world. I can't stand to watch most cop or lawyer shows, because they tend to be overly dramatic and full of black & white, right & wrong dichotomies. Personally, I like the blur of good & bad and a nice fuzzy graduating gray. That is why Law & Order is different...even though the show's template is almost always the same (murder/death in first 3 minutes, cops interrogating double faced victims/witnesses, and the lawyers preaching while working around the cops' procedural mistakes), the characters are realistic, the proceedings amazingly accurate, and the outcomes are always unsure until the very end.
Oh, and very very happy that considerate man called and wrote when he said he would. However, man is weird, even weirder than me (or maybe he's so normal, it's weird). Am I jaded or cautious?
I absolutely love Law & Order!
As all my friends know, and maybe a few people who got in the line of fire, I don't much like lawyers. My law school experience was tiring and painful, as I was trying to bend my mind into the pompous, righteous, inflexible, and yet hypocritical ways of the world. I can't stand to watch most cop or lawyer shows, because they tend to be overly dramatic and full of black & white, right & wrong dichotomies. Personally, I like the blur of good & bad and a nice fuzzy graduating gray. That is why Law & Order is different...even though the show's template is almost always the same (murder/death in first 3 minutes, cops interrogating double faced victims/witnesses, and the lawyers preaching while working around the cops' procedural mistakes), the characters are realistic, the proceedings amazingly accurate, and the outcomes are always unsure until the very end.
Oh, and very very happy that considerate man called and wrote when he said he would. However, man is weird, even weirder than me (or maybe he's so normal, it's weird). Am I jaded or cautious?